What is a slut?
Really, ladies and gentlemen… I’d like to know. In your minds, what is a slut? Promiscuous? Easy?
This is something I struggle with a lot. I keep my sexuality hidden from those in my real life. And it’s because I don’t want to be labeled a slut.
There is still such a huge double standard when it comes to sex. It’s still perfectly fine for guys to go out and get laid every weekend. Different women every night. Not a problem. Men are genetically predisposed to spread their seed, right?
Well, what about us woman? Is it biological for us, too? Are we programmed to spread out legs and accept the seed to propagate the species? If so, why are we considered sluts when we do what’s natural?
It’s because we’re supposed to be evolved, right? As humans, we’re supposed to have the ability to fight against our instincts? Unless we’re men… If we have a penis, we’re unable to fight those instincts, therefore it’s perfectly alright to fuck around as we wish?
No… see, I don’t buy any of that. The spreading the seed thing.
I believe strongly that our sexual preference is something we’re born with. Gay folks are born that way. It’s not a choice we make. At no point in my life do I recall ever deciding to be heterosexual. I was born straight. Some are born gay. And, yes, I do believe that some are born bi.
Following that belief, the seed spreading theory doesn’t hold water with me. Because homosexuals don’t feel that need to mate in order to create a child. That doesn’t mean that they don’t feel the need to parent or raise a child. Or, maybe, they do feel that need to procreate but it’s not necessarily tied in to sex or sexual desires.
So… where does this slut thing come from? History? I’m not going to delve into the history of gender and gender roles. Do your own research on that. I want to talk about gender roles in today’s world.
We’re supposed to be equal, right? Women have been fighting for years to be recognized as gender equals. We can work the same jobs, get paid the same (HA!), vote, drink, drive, wear pants, etc., etc., etc.
What we can’t do is have sex solely for pleasure with partners that we don’t have any intention of forming a lasting relationship with. Men can, and do.
Women do, and they’re sluts.
Why haven’t we women fought for THOSE equal rights? Who and where is this coming from, this huge inequality? Men?
Nope, I don’t think so. Ladies, this is all on us. We’re the ones that point fingers and call each other sluts. We’re the ones holding ourselves down. Holding ME down. Keeping me from proudly displaying my sexuality for all to see.
Women have been so sexually repressed for so long that, it seems, we’re still not ready to embrace it. And when a woman does break free and realize that sex is enormous fun and doesn’t have to be about making babies, other women are very, very quick to gang up on her and slap the big SLUT label on her. And men will go right along with it because they want to stick their penises in vaginas and those vaginas will be sealed closed if men were to respect and accept those few sexually open women as equals.
I belong to Generation X. We came after the baby boomers… those lucky folks who got to drop acid and do the whole free love thing back in the 60s. It was perfectly fine to be a wild child, as long as you got it out of your system and married and made the babies and lived a perfectly respectable life. They got to have it both ways. Children in the 50s, in the days of Ozzie and Harriett, teens and young adults in the 60s and 70s when everything was groovy. Then they made their money in the Me Decade and settled into mediocrity and middle age in the 90s.
My generation missed those fun years and went to straight to the AIDs epidemic when we were teenagers. It was all about keeping your pants on unless you wanted to die a horrific death. Came out of that into the 90s… it was about, to me, acceptance and political correctness. I really don’t know if the 90s have been defined yet, but I recall them being about everything being extremely PC and no one having very much fun. Certainly no sexual revolution. It was all about playing it safe. Being safe, speaking safe, acting safe. Safe, safe, safe.
Don’t say anything to offend anyone, don’t do anything to offend anyone. We became a generation of liars for the sake of propriety. In some ways, it was very, very good. While there is still WAY too much bigotry and homophobia, I think that most sane intelligent people have banished those differences. We don’t automatically see color and we don’t really give a damn about someone’s sexual orientation unless we want to bang them. We learned a lot about how we’re basically all just humans trying to make a life on this planet.
Except that sexually open women are still labeled. And by each other. This needs to stop. We women are never going to truly be “equal” to men until we can accept that sex is natural, and good, and that nature has given us a clitoris, which is in no way tied to our reproductive organs.
The clit exists for pleasure, and only pleasure. It’s to make sex feel good. And that is nothing shameful. And it doesn’t have to be tied to a relationship built on marriage and making babies.
And a woman who is aware of this is not a slut. She’s a human being, equal in every way to men. Sex is about pleasure. Yes, a baby might be created during sex, but it might not. Sex has never been a guarantee that a child will be the result.
It’s time to realize and accept that sex is more than penile-vaginal intercourse. We use our entire bodies when having sex. We can orgasm from a variety of different types of stimuli. And orgasms aren’t required to make babies. An orgasm is for pleasure. Sex is for pleasure.
Stop shaming women who desire that pleasure without the constraints of a relationship. Just stop.
JaneOnymous 